Me and My Manny by M.A. MacAfee

Author:M.A. MacAfee [MacAfee, M.A.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: M.A. MacAfee Publisher
Published: 2013-12-15T16:00:00+00:00

The Merits of Virtual Reality

Never one to make a critical decision without first consulting reliable sources, I was about to check my horoscope in a supermarket tabloid, when someone knocked on the front door. I set the paper aside, eyed Lisa through the peephole, and invited her in.

“Have you seen Miss Kitty? I’ve searched for her everywhere,” she said in a worried voice.

I recalled finding what looked like a cat’s paw after seeing Spike in the hall up to no good. Yet I declined mentioning the incident because of the trouble it might cause Ruthie, another happy manny user and possibly part of my marketing strategy. Hoping against hope that the cat hadn’t been divested of all her nine lives at once, I said that I had seen neither hide nor hair of her, but I’d be on the lookout.

Lisa glanced beyond me and at the tabloid on the table. “Oh, the horoscopes. Are you finished with it?”

“Not yet. I need to make sure it’s in the stars for me to advance my manny as a simulator. You know, for the purpose of interpersonal education, relationships, and such.”

“A simulator?” Lisa appeared interested. “You mean like those high-fidelity manikins now used to train med students?”

“Similar, but without the removable intestines and canned medical complaints. I mean, who needs a date that wheezes, coughs, and bellyaches?”

“That’s for sure,” Lisa said with a look that encouraged me to go on.

“Since a simulated experience is somewhat an imitation of the real thing, I figure the manny could be used as a tool to practice on before making a long-term commitment.”

“Good idea. If you’re going to screw up, it’s best to do it on the make-believe.”

“My sentiments exactly.” Fancy that. In the brave new world of virtual reality, I was something of a trendsetter.

“Amazing how many relationships start off on the wrong foot,” Lisa said, plopping down on the sofa. “You take the plunge, only to find out later that you and your partner are totally mismatched. Before you know it, you’re smashing windshields, slashing tires, and gouging paint.”

“Breaking up is hard to do.” I now comprehended why Ernie was forever attending to his vehicle.

“It’s wrong to expect too much from your spouse,” Lisa said. “No one can fill all of another’s emotional needs.”

“That’s the area a manny’s most effective. Just a small amount of contact with it and bingo—” I broke off and shrugged.

“The manny does nothing,” Lisa supplied.

“Now you got it. Doesn’t she Wolf?” I leaned toward the alcove where I’d left Wolf on a stool wedged in a corner. “That’s my manny.” I pretended to listen as if expecting a response. “In one ear and out the other.”

Lisa nodded in agreement. “Because a manny disregards you from the start, contact with it is good training.”

“From day one,” I said, echoing her point, “a manny compels you to become your own person and to practice self-reliance. The lower your expectations, the fewer your disappointments.”

“I never thought about it that way.”

“I’m not saying that a manny can guarantee marital bliss.

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